Splatter Alert: Disable All Fans Now!

DECEMBER 17, 2017     –STORM WARNING–

A major stool front is approaching the nation’s Capitol. Significant movements are expected.

More than one load is expected to hit the fan. With high winds, this has the potential to develop into a Category 3 Shitstorm. Be sure to take cover and disable all fans and windmills.

Official Details:

  • The Inspector General for the Justice Department is about to release his report about corruption at Justice and the FBI. The focus is on corrupt and political activities over the last couple years. Have boots ready.
  • The Washington Post is rumored to be preparing to publish a report that will cost dozens of members of Congress their jobs, members of both parties. Mass evacuations are possible.
  • The steady trickle of document releases from the intelligence community and the Justice Department will begin to flood some neighborhoods. People are urged to maintain the higher ground.

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